What if the Talk Creates More Confusion?

by Shannon
(Mn)

I have recently just started dating since I discovered I had herpes almost 2 years ago. Finally after many bad dates, I found someone I was really interested in... We were both very excited about finding each other and everything seemed right, up until "the talk"...

He went from calling me his soul mate and the person he was waiting for his whole life to being afraid to even kiss me and wanting to take it slow. I'm crushed, I don't know if he'll ever be able to look at me the same again... I really like him but also know that having herpes doesn't make me a second class citizen! What should I do now?!

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Dear Shannon,

Being honest early in the relationship always works out for the best. More than anything, you’ll find a lot of peace and serenity when telling your partners up front. If they don’t call back or if they say they can’t deal with it, then they don’t deserve you in the first place.

If they care more about avoiding this little skin condition than pursuing a relationship with you, then they won’t be a good long term partner for you anyway. You’re probably better off without people like them.

Happiness is a mindset, if you believe you deserve it (and you do!), then you will achieve it. You’re right; herpes doesn’t make you any less of a person. So don’t let this silly virus and the fear of rejection hinder you from moving on and enjoying life. Keep your chin up and don’t get discourage. Trust me, there are a lot more understanding people out there who will love and accept you for who you are.

Just remember every day that you are truly beautiful.

Thank you for sending in your question/concern to this forum. Perhaps other readers can also share their experiences on this similar situation.

God bless!

Gary

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Aug 12, 2013
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If he can't accept it, he isn't the one
by: Anonymous

I found out I was HSV1 positive a few days after my 21st birthday. I was devastated. I had been dating a great guy since may 5th. I didn't know how to tell him. He was perfect. I seriously thought I was going to lose him, but to my surprise he accepted it. He told me that it didn't change how he felt, and we've almost been dating 4 months now. Just last night I broke down crying terrified of giving it to him one day and him leaving, but he told me that will never happen. When you find the right one they will accept it, and it won't change their feelings. So if he can't get past it. He isn't right. Keep your head up.

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