Lost and Terrified Like Everyone

by Evan
(California)

This is no success story or recovery. As a matter of fact I just found this website today and it has made me feel a tad bit better but not a whole lot sorry to say. I'm so angry and ashamed of myself that I literally hate myself every passing day since I found out I had HSV2.


I was diagnosed at 18 years old and never knew about it. I had a doctor tell me that I was getting kidney stones and just ingrown hairs from shaving my pubes.

I'm 23 years old and around November 2011 I went to the a new doctor to because I was having the same issue that I thought was kidney stones but this time was even worse. The doctor told me I had urethritis that was possibly cause by herpes. So of course I got tested and sure enough I had herpes. I'm currently dating my wonderful beautiful girlfriend who knows that I have herpes and accepts me still.

We been together for the past 3 years and had countless unprotected sex and we also thought the bumps were ingrown hairs. Now that we know the truth she stays strong and stays with me no matter what, however I'm angry/upset/frustrated at myself and constantly in fear of her getting it (even though she probably does). All that anger just puts me down in depression and I break down.

I don't want her to get HSV 1 or 2 and I always try to talk to myself/try to pray that I'd rather endure the pain and suffering than have her go through it or possibly us going for a child and the baby getting it. I wouldn't mind enduring all the pain if it meant they came clear.

Thanks for reading my story, advice or comfort is much appreciated. Just thought I share my story here in a place of acceptance.


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Dear Evan,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Indeed it is of utmost importance to see a qualified physician to diagnose any medical condition. It is only normal to feel depressed and isolated, but don't let this silly little virus get the best of you. You still have a long journey ahead of you and you don't want herpes to stop you from living your life.

Countless normal and healthy children have been born from herpes positive parents. So you shouldn't worry too much. Seeing an STD specialist on this matter can truly help your future wife in dealing and managing pregnancy when the time comes.

Hope that helps!

Gary

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