Is it safe to cuddle naked with my partner who has herpes?

by Anonymous
(California)

I'm madly in love. A whirlwind romance you may call it. Before my partner and I became intimate he opened up to me about having genital herpes. He also informed me that he has never had an outbreak, but the tests confirm he is a carrier. It was alarming, but I was so thankful he had opened up to me and told me while it was still my choice. It didn't change how I felt about him, in fact it made me love him more. I told him we would be as safe as possible and that way if I do contract herpes, he won't have to blame himself.


Now that we are intimate we always use condoms and are extremely safe but because he is a herpes carrier who has never had an outbreak I have a hard time understanding when he may be contagious. I understand that herpes can be contagious without outbreaks, but I wonder if he is always contagious? After sex we love to cuddle, but I worry that he could spread it to me that way and I feel like it gets in the way.

I want to understand when I need to be most cautious since there are no outbreaks, I want to know if I can cuddle with him naked without worrying about contracting the virus, or if we need to keep the blankets between us.

Not knowing the answer feels much scarier than knowing the facts, regardless of what they may be. Looking on the web there are so many answers and deciphering which ones are the most applicable is hard.

I want to be able to love him as much as he deserves to be loved and allow him as much sexual freedom as he deserves, the more knowledge I have, the more freedom we have.

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