Is it safe for my girlfriend to give me oral sex if I do not have an outbreak?

by Anonymous
(Jacksonville fl)

I have herpes and want to know... is it safe for my girlfriend to give me oral sex when I do not have an outbreak without a condom?

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Dear Anonymous,

Due to the highly contagious nature of herpes, there is still a risk involved any time you and your partner get intimate. This is because of the phenomenon called viral or asymptomatic shedding, wherein the herpes virus travels a few times in a year up to the surface of the skin without showing signs of an outbreak. This can be unpredictable so it’s always better to take precautionary measures and communicate with your partner before the hormones kick in. That way, you can protect her from acquiring the virus.

So it’s really up to the discretion of you and your partner to decide the level of risk you are comfortable with. Just remember to be honest with them from the start, especially when you see being intimate with this person is on the horizon. If you feel the symptoms of prodrome, or the warning signs of an oncoming outbreak, then best is to lay low on sex for awhile. Our page on Oral Sex Herpes has tons of tips and advice which you might find useful!

There is still a wonderful sex life after herpes. You just need to make a few changes, is all. Starting with practicing safe sex and avoiding sex altogether during outbreaks. Consider doubling up your antiviral herpes medication and religiously taking them. That way, the virus is suppressed and outbreaks are reduced.

Hope this helps!

Gary

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