How long before I stop feeling disgusted with myself?

I am 20 years old now. I have had HSV 2 for about one year now. I caught it from my boyfriend, who never has outbreaks and even tests negative! I had my first outbreak 3 months after we started dating. When I was told my heart broke down and I started crying when my mom asked me what was wrong. She told me that it was OK and that I should be glad that it won't kill me.


Right after, I went and told my boyfriend and immediately started crying again. My boyfriend said the same as my mom and said that it will be OK because we have each other. I always feel less than and have a crying episode every night. My ob are fairly bad because of the amount of stress that I get when thinking about it plus any outside trouble I have.

I am in college and I don't let this affect my grades, I am still doing very well. But I just want to be happy again and not feel the way I feel about myself every time I look in the mirror. Anytime I want to talk about it to my boyfriend I just feel like he doesn't understand. He doesn't have to experience the pain or change his clothes styles. I can not wear any spandex anymore, which took away from much of my clothes.

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Jun 01, 2014
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by: joanne

You know what thank you for posting your story. I believe it depends on our ages but feeling trapped and having limited options for relationships is hard and everyone is different.

I'm a freaking grandmother. I'm 43 and when I was younger, I liked sex but I was clean. Now at 43 I feel dirty we call them toot toot chicken poxs. I have an 11 yr old an 3 other kids and a grand baby.

I worry for you however when you do find someone and they find you at least you will know its real. Don't put yourself at further risk for other std's obviously ur bf isn't protecting you like wise neither did my husband. I won't forget you so when you think you're all alone you weren't today cause I'm writing you.

Honestly talk to a counselor over an over till ur comfortable. Can u imagine me telling an explaining I have toot toot chicken poxs but do you feel trapped by ur bf is like a baby that can show up anytime. Herpies the new relationship trap you don't have to pay child support to it.

Lol sry you got to laugh with people like me who know. Also don't you hate the fact on TV now you have this virus you can't escape herpies humor it should be like the N word only we can talk about it. I feel judged by random TV shows family guy, etc...

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