Finding Peace

by Young Mom
(Pennsylvania)

I am a 22 year old mom who recently found out that I have herpes (9 months ago). I am still in a spot where I feel ashamed but I am learning to cope.


I had been dating someone who I later heard was a bit promiscuous. I had girls messaging me on FB telling me that they were tested & had herpes & claimed he was the source. So I did. My results came back positive for Chlamydia. I was treated and went on feeling as though I had dodged a bullet. A few months later I started to experience discomfort and small sores. I decided to go to my local planned parenthood....bad idea.

They had me swab myself, no blood test & told me they would call in a week only if I had something. I never received a call. So being proactive, I called & they stated I was clear.

But something wasn't right down there.

So I went to my doctor who sent me in for blood work. This time I tested positive for herpes.

Floored.

The nurse who relayed the message was so expressionless. I guess that's what they are supposed to do, but I felt so empty.

I'm taking daily medication now & I haven't had any outbreaks, just dry patchy skin where I had broken out originally. I work at a bank & I know one of my co-workers also has herpes, but hers is oral. She cuts jokes about it but other people I work with cut down genital herpes as being gross & say how they don't like her referring to her oral sores as herpes.

I can name a handful of people who have told me they have herpes or who I have heard through the grapevine that do. So I know I'm not alone. But the perception is still there.

I recently started dating someone new. And he is simply incredible. We are taking things very slow & I am insanely stressed about the moment I will tell him about my herpes. I fear the rejection that could follow. I still hope for the best. Having herpes complicates a relationship. Having a child complicates a relationship. Having both is going to lead to stomach ulcers.

I am really glad I found this site. I have never seen anything like it. I find comfort in knowing that there are people just like me experiencing the same thing. Every day I feel a little more at peace with my herpes. All I can do now is help educate those around me, especially my daughter as she grows to be a young woman.

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