And Life Goes On..

by Anonymous
(California)

It was June 2014 and life had just seemed to start for me, my boyfriend and I were starting the summer together after being on and off for about a year during school. Not once had I slept around. I was committed. I started a new job and met this guy that made me feel great. Around this time my boyfriend and I once again broke up. I thought it was done for good the way things ended.


One night I had been hanging out with my co-worker, one thing led to another and we had sex. My biggest mistake was not using protection. About two weeks later I started noticing irritation while I pee and these sores, at first I thought nothing of it but it worsened and finally I went to the doctors. She takes a look and then faces me and calmly says, "It is genital herpes".

I broke down right in front of her. I was 18 years old, I felt so disgusted with myself. I called my mom crying and I confessed to my wrong doings. She reassured me that she didn't love me any less for this but it was just something that I had to learn with and she would be there with me everyday of it.

That same day I talked to him because we had both gone to the doctors the same day but neither of us had told each other for what reason. We both didn't know how this could've happened to us, it came to us as such a shock and I felt like I would be stuck with him for the rest of my life because of this.

My ex boyfriend wanted to try things over again, and my heart wanted to but I couldn't tell him I thought it might have hurt him because of what I had done. Once again we have been on and off for about three months. We have had sex a few times but I make sure to take all the pre cautions, I feel so guilty that I have not yet told him and I plan to soon but I just don't know how to do it because I am scared that he will leave me.

I have come to the conclusion that if he chooses to leave me for good then there is nothing I can do about it. I wake up every morning looking forward to the day because even though I have herpes I am still alive. It is something I have to live with for the rest of my life but it does not mean that my life ends. Life goes on, you just have to learn how to cope with the situation.

I have good days and I have bad days but I've just learned to look on the brighter side of things. Reading all these other stories has given me confidence to tell my ex boyfriend, I just hope that with telling him it won't change anything between us. IT WILL ALL BE OKAY :)

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