17 Years Old with Genital Herpes and Learning to Live With It

by Anonymous
(California)

I just turned 17 this year, and started to have possible GH symptoms only about a month before my birthday. I couldn't stop crying and feeling like the world was over. In fact, I still feel that way and it's been months since I've even had one symptom, but the thought scares me. I still don't know for sure if I have it because Kaiser sucks and never gave me results back but my doctor said it looks, "Suspicious".

I believe that if I have it, I may have contracted it last year when my boyfriend and I split up because I was talking to somebody else afterward, who I later found out cheated on me.

After the guy who cheated on me broke up with me about 2 months later I began to have symptoms, but I talked to the guy about it, and told him he should get tested, and he said " I don't really care if I have it” and this pissed me off beyond belief. How could this guy possibly have given me herpes, and not care, and then knowing he might have it, continue talking to girls and trying to be intimate with them like it was nothing?
Like it was no big deal?

After I gave up on that asshole, I was lucky enough to begin talking to the guy before the guy who gave it to me again, and he was very accepting and loving and even said to me, "I don't plan on being with anyone else, so I don't care." Unfortunately we didn't work out, and neither of us know if I have it or not, soon I'm going to go get retested for all STD's and tell him the results so as to let him know if he should go get tested or not.

When I think about it, it's not the possible disease I might have that is painful to me, but the thought that I may never again find someone who will love me and accept me. Since my ex and I broke up, multiple guys have tried to talk to me and flirt with me without me instigating the conversation first which is new to me because usually I talk to guys first, so now I finally feel pretty and happy, except for this.

I'm scared to really try and have a decent conversation with anyone because I'm so scared they'll hate me and never understand where I'm coming from

or see how hard it is for me to have to tell them something like this.

I have a best friend who is a male, and I told him and he makes me feel better because of the fact he's a guy and he tells me I have so much more to offer someone than this, and that I'm beautiful, and that anyone who doesn't see that is a damn idiot. I don't know where I'd be without him.

With all this said, I realized that there is some good has come out of all of this:

1) It makes me look at the good in myself rather than pointing out my every flaw and imperfection,

2) It makes me take better care of myself,

3) It will make me really truly get to know someone before I do anything I could regret and really let them see me as a person and love me for more than this so when I have the talk with them, hopefully, it won't matter,

And 4) It has made me a way less judgmental person; I can have someone tell me their deepest thoughts and secrets and things they've done and tell them, it's okay and help them, and let them know I'm going to be there for them because I would want someone to do that for me. I mean I would've anyways, but now it's easier for me to see their perspective and get a real understanding of how much it affects them.

It's nice to see people on here going though the same things I am, and even some people my own age. I wish everyone the very best. Even if this is just a scare, it's given me a new light and respect and love for people going through this, because I can now see how painful this is, and even if I don't have it, I will now never reject someone I truly care about over something as simple as a skin condition like this one.

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Dear Anonymous,

Great story. You have a wonderful attitude for a teenager with Herpes.

Just keep up the positive thinking. It gets easier telling other people the more you do it. And you`ll certainly meet someone that will love you and accept that you have just a MINOR SKIN CONDITION.

You`re better off without those losers that don`t get it or are immature.

Keep on developing yourself into the woman you want to be.

Gary

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Comments for 17 Years Old with Genital Herpes and Learning to Live With It

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May 07, 2017
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Worried sick
by: Anonymous

I'm 17, 18 in a month, im about to begin a whole new, exciting chapter in my life. But earlier this week I got a rash down stairs, this rash turned j to bumps, then sores. Freaking out I do my research on google of corse, and all things point to herpes. I just met a really nice guy that may become my first boyfriend after all the bad luck I've had with guys, but now that this has happened I want to end it, I don't want to have to admit it too him is results come back as positive, I don't want to put him through that, but mainly I'm scared that it'll make him leave. I'm struggling so much but don't know how to get support. I'm too ashamed to tell my mother
I'm praying to god I've mistaken something else for herpes
How do you live with it?

Jun 13, 2015
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im 17 years old too
by: Anonymous

Hey im really happy for you that you can get through it . I'm only 17 and iv been an escort for about 2 years im in a serious relationship also and i dontknow who gave this to me im just really sad i seen a sore on my boyfriend and it's probably from me but he thinks he gave it to me im 95% sure he didnt i have such nice costumers and idk what to say to them i just want to drop off the face of the earth and never speek to them again my boyfriend is wayy older and i want kids and he doesn't so i dont think its going to last im scared of life ahead of me im still numb i just had my first out break i havent been diagnosed but im sure that is what it is like little white bumps around my vaginal hole sorry if thats tmi im scared to tell my sister and my mom.

Apr 20, 2015
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i feel you
by: Anonymous

Im 17 and just had my first outbreak and im terrified I'll never have that loving boyfriend like i just idk maan its all crazy but i can totally relate girl.

Sep 12, 2014
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17 year old with herpes
by: Anonymous

I am 17 and have just been diagnosed with genital herpes. My whole life I wanted to catch up with everyone around me, I wanted to be accepted, and I wanted someone to love me. I began to let myself be used, I had multiple sex partners, hoping each time that one of them would want me more for my body, but I was always wrong.

I used protection, each time, but 5 months later I found out about my condition, by this time I had finally fell in love, the worst part is I think I have given my partner genital herpes as well. He is really understanding, but it still hurts me. I feel like I'm bound to only him because no one else could ever love me with my condition, I wish I knew how I got it, but honestly I never will.

I can't even tell my closest friends because I'm scared they will judge me. I wish I could go back and erase my mistakes, however, that's not possible, but reading these pages kind of helps me cope, at least I'm not alone.

Aug 31, 2014
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17 and in first outbreak
by: Krystal

I'm 17. I'm having my first outbreak I think. I haven't gotten tested or have told my mom yet :( I'm taking some herbs to try to help, using tea tree oil. I'm just so scared to tell my mom. She's my best friend, and I feel like she's just going to be so upset and crushed...

Any advice on how I could possibly easily tell her? I am terrified to :( I can barely make it to work I've called out sick the past 3 days, my manager said I have to go in tomorrow. I don't know what to do or how to even cope. I just want to die. I feel like my life is over.

I used protection, but not during oral, and I'm pretty positive that's how I contracted it. I'm so scared :( hearing any kind of feedback would make me feel a little better. I just feel so alone and scared.

Dec 12, 2013
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17 finding out
by: Anonymous

Hi I am 17 and recently I went to the doctors and was informed there might be a possibility I have gh and since I heard that my life has turned up side down, and because at the time I was involved with 2 older men I don't know who infected me. After I left the Doctors Office I informed both men of the situation. Ones response was it couldn't be him because he haven't slept with anyone since me and the others response was not really a response he said nothing and told me he would call back. Now there's a burden on my heart because I might have infected someone and the thought alone will never let me forgive myself. I know that god forgives everyone but the part that hurts is people don't forgive and now my life is forever changed. Not to mention its my birthday, what a gift...

Nov 16, 2013
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wow
by: Anonymous

I'm 17 too :) I think I have it to but my tests came back negative but it takes 3-4 months so gotta wait but everyone is talking about me because of fake friends you gotta watch and when I say everybody I mean everybody but I can fight very well so they ain't gone say shit. This disease ain't bad if I do have it I got a gf and I'm so ready to have a baby but I got to wait. Y'all got to understand that its life so many people have it. It is what it is frfr. Good luck people. #300

May 24, 2013
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Afraid
by: dennie

Hello. My name is Dennie and I'm 22 years old. I have been living with this disease for a year now and its the hardest thing I've had to deal with. I feel as if this disease is taking over my life. To know that someone I trust gave me this awful disease, hurts! & to believe his response was "shit happens" after I told him he had infected me. I feel like no man will ever love, respect, or think I'm beautiful if I told them I'm positive for genital herpes. Maybe I should give up dating or having sex and be alone for the rest of my life. I need some peace of mind. Closure..anything. This disease is taking over my life! I feel so ugly and disgusting. I just want someone to hear me out. I don't have anyone that I can talk to except God because I'm crying to him every night. Maybe I should give him a break and cry to someone else.

Jan 02, 2013
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You're not alone.
by: Anonymous

I was 17 when it happened. I'm a girl btw. I had never been in a serious relationship, in fact I thought I was gay. I was a virgin and had NEVER had sex. I had only fooled around only a couple times in my life. One night I had a little kick back and was drinking quite a bit. This really hot girl and I hooked up, but it was quick. She fingered me pretty hard and that was it. A few weeks later I find out I have genital herpes. I was crushed. I mean I've never even had sex!! I never had a serious relationship. How am I supposed to have one with this stupid shit. It's been a year and I've sort of learned to accept it. But I recently got with this guy and I really, really, really like him. We make out intensely and sort of foreplay but I want to go further and I fucking can't. How am I supposed to tell him. It's so fucking unfair. I don't deserve this shit. And I don't deserve to cry all the fucking tears I have. It makes me hate myself. Like anyone I fall in love with deserves better than me because I'm not worth it anymore. It hurts. I've been a good person my whole life and this shit is so fucking stupid it makes me angry akdnsnsjsbxhdb

Oct 26, 2012
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17 and first breakout
by: Anonymous

I'm also seventeen. I'm so terrified. I believe I'm having my first genital herpes outbreak. I'm not positive yet. But, I'm going to get tested. I just feel like I have so much going for me right now. I'm going to college, have two jobs, am beautiful, and guys are finally starting to take an interest to me. But, this disease is just devastating. I'm pretty positive I have it... The guy I caught it from has never even had an outbreak before. But, I've heard it can be dormant or there can be people who are just carriers and unaware that they have the disease. I think my worst fear is finding a good man when I'm older who can accept me if I have genital herpes. I honestly don't know what to do. I just wish I could go back and stop myself.. But, anyways, it's nice to know that there's other people out there having the same problem I am. I can't really talk to my friends or family about this yet because I'm too embarrassed. But, for now, these stories are giving me comfort. <3

Oct 25, 2012
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im 17 and i tested positive for genital herpes..
by: Anonymous

I'm just letting you know your not alone and I know how your feeling. I'm actually currently experiencing my first breakout...and it sucks.. because I dug myself into a hole with a certain guy. I didn't know I had herpes when we started having sex and I'm still figuring out how I'm going to tell him.. well.. I didn't realize I had a breakout this last time we had sex now I have to tell him. Plus inform him that he most likely has it now and I'm terrified that he's going to hate me or worse..spread rumors about it. Because honestly I really do like him a lot actually he's all I think about. On top of everything I think I'm pregnant with his kid so I have no idea what the fuck to do. Like I said I'm only 17. I'm completely freaked out and scared. I don't know if I should tell him about the herpes or the pregnancy scare first because if I really am pregnant with his kid, I don't wanna lose him over the herpes thing :(

Oct 23, 2012
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:)
by: Anonymous

how did you tell your parents?

Sep 17, 2012
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Thankyou xx
by: Jill

I am also 17 years old. I believe I have gential herpes as well. This story made me feel so at peace with myself. It's really good to read something like this. I distract myself all day everyday for the hard reality of this disease and at night before bed it really hits me hard. But reading this really lifted me up I'm so grateful x

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